Explaining Men & Women’s Sexual Behaviours

Jul 22 2020 Published by under Uncategorized

Behaviours are more strongly influenced by sex than by orientation. This is because our sex affects our responsiveness. But orientation has nothing to do with responsiveness. Sexual behaviours include enhancing attractiveness, giving pleasure and showing initiative. A sexual behaviour is one that differentiates men from women and gays from heterosexuals.

On average men are much more promiscuous than women. Homosexual men demonstrate similar behaviours to heterosexual men. Regardless of orientation, men have a drive to engage in penetrative sex and to enjoy the eroticism of being physically intimate with a lover.

Lesbian women are rarely promiscuous. Lesbians have long-term relationships based on emotional attachments. Lesbian relationships are not necessarily focused on genital stimulation. Lesbians enjoy spending companionable time together and engaging in affectionate sex play, such as kissing, cuddling and sensual touching. They do not always engage in genital activity but if they do, their lovemaking focuses on the clitoris.

Women’s orgasm techniques are much less consistent than men’s tend to be. Notably behaviours differ significantly between gay and straight women. Sexual orientation determines erotic turn-ons (whether we are aroused by the same sex or opposite sex). It should not logically change the anatomy that is involved in how women achieve orgasm.

Men initiate most heterosexual activity including dating and intercourse. Men seek out sources of eroticism to enjoy their own arousal. The vast majority of men masturbate regularly. Men’s bravado involves boasting about the number of sexual opportunities and partners they have had. Men exhibit a much greater range of sexual perversions and deviancies than women do. Men are responsible for the vast majority of sexual abuse, sexual assault and rape. Men are paedophiles, they have fetishes, etc.

Some men need a woman to act out a sexual role in order to obtain their sexual and emotional satisfaction. Men’s minds are much more varied in how they use real life scenarios for erotic arousal. For example some men want a woman to act out a role or engage in a fetish or just suck on a woman’s nipple as if breast-feeding. This scenario presumably provides the emotional reassurance of a mother’s love. Women do not obtain physical gratification or sexual release from similar scenarios. Some women will provide for a man’s unusual needs especially if they are paid.

A man approaches sexual activity with a lover intent on intercourse. This means men’s arousal cycle, from erection to ejaculation, is centre stage. So men are highly sensitive about their ability to achieve and maintain an erection as well as engage in sexual activity without ejaculating too soon. A man’s erection signifies his virility and ability to impregnate a woman.

Men’s emotions (aggressive behaviour) and emotional needs (sex) are easy for a woman to understand. Men are much less aware of women’s emotional needs. Women’s reward is caring for those they love. Sex provides a woman with a means of rewarding a man. Women use the conscious sexual behaviours of being willing to provide male turn-ons by the way they present themselves, by what they say and how they behave.

Women are relatively passive during sexual activity. They dislike genital display and manipulation. Sex is not an activity that women are typically motivated to initiate. Most women engage in sexual activity only as a response to a man’s initiative. Women are essentially on the defensive. They only need to allow a man’s instinctive desire to explore their bodies.

Sex does not occur as a result of any natural response that a woman has. So even the idea of sex can be very embarrassing for a woman. Women feel uncomfortable about sex because the sex urge comes from a man’s body. Sex is something that men do to women. Men’s belief that women should experience the same pleasure that they do, puts pressure on women. Most women prefer to view sex as an emotional rather than an erotic experience. Sexual responsiveness seems crude and impersonal to women.

Women boast about orgasm for a number of reasons. They enjoy the attention they get. They enjoy feeling superior by intimidating other women. Women are also often selling sexual services including sex therapy where a male view of sex is used to sell supposed knowledge of techniques. Women rarely provide any explicit details and they never talk of erotic turn-ons. They typically provide sexual come-ons if selling sex.

The evidence for female responsiveness comes, not from one woman’s orgasm claims, but from the behaviour of women in the general population. For example, some women claim to be aroused by porn but they never refer to explicit turn-ons. If women were aroused by porn then they would also generate demand for male strip-bars and male lap-dancing bars. They would heckle and cat-call men in the street. Women don’t do this because men are much more willing. It is men who need to chase women.

Girls do not discuss sexual activities as freely or as frequently as boys do. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)

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Sexual Responsiveness & Orientation

Jul 22 2020 Published by under Uncategorized

Sexuality is about responsiveness and orientation, both of which are determined before we are born. Among the genes we inherit from our parents are those that determine responsiveness and orientation. Any child can potentially be born homosexual. Likewise, we are all born with varying degrees of responsiveness. Responsiveness is a measure of the frequency with which a person’s mind responds positively to eroticism in such a way that causes arousal (blood to flow to the sex organ). When we have an opportunity to focus on our mental arousal, this tension gradually builds up until it peaks and is released as nervous energy, that is called orgasm.

There are three key aspects to responsiveness: biological, emotional and intellectual. The most important aspect is biological since this is the physiological response. All men orgasm (with varying frequencies) because male orgasm is the physiological trigger for ejaculation of semen. Ejaculation is a male glandular emission related to men’s territorial instincts to dominate and fight for possession of resources. Male mammals mark out their territory by spraying glandular emissions over land marks to deter competitors. Female mammals are not territorial in the same way. Women do not have male glands so women cannot ejaculate as men do.

Most men engage in regular sexual activity throughout their active lives. Most (but not all) men enjoy masturbation and fantasies. But men usually need a partner to enjoy the best erotic satisfaction. The need for regular penetrative sex with a lover is emotionally significant to men (important to their state of well-being). The term ’emotionally significant’ has nothing to do with the emotional aspects of intercourse women may enjoy. Even if a woman is responsive, her enjoyment of orgasm is an occasional pleasure.

Responsiveness reflects a person’s total orgasm frequency both alone and with a lover. Men are much more responsive than women ever are. Even responsive women only ever orgasm by masturbating alone. Being unresponsive (rarely or never having an orgasm) is completely normal for women. Research indicates that around 10% of women openly admit they have never had an orgasm in their whole lives. Another 20% (30% in total) are essentially unresponsive: they readily admit that they rarely orgasm.

No one teaches us how to orgasm. We discover orgasm because we have the capability. Orgasm is a significant response that we definitely realise we have had. Naturally we are naturally pleased when we have our first orgasm but we don’t tell our parents or our friends about it. Our instincts tell us (if the general embarrassment over sex doesn’t) that orgasm is personal. Even later on, orgasm is a pleasure that we keep private. Those who truly orgasm (men for example) don’t typically boast about it.

Our orientation is defined by who we are attracted to, for example, the same sex or the opposite sex. Most people are heterosexual, which means that they are attracted to people of the opposite sex. Some people are attracted to their own sex. When this is exclusive (they are never attracted to the opposite sex) we say that they are homosexual. A person who engages in sexual activity with someone of either sex is called bisexual. Orientations are completely normal and accepted in most societies today.

We have no choice over our orientation. It is just the way we are. Orientation is not a life-style choice. We do not become gay because of the people we associate with or because our parents raised us in a certain way. Our sexual orientation (whether we are aroused by or amenable to sex with a lover of the same or opposite sex) is innate (we are born that way).

There is a biological precedent for heterosexuality because intercourse between a man and a woman is the basis of reproduction. But human sexuality is much broader than a purely reproductive function. Although it is usual for people to be heterosexual, it is not abnormal for someone to be attracted to a person of the same sex either exclusively or just occasionally.

Sexual orientation is just one aspect of ourselves. Orientation does not change how we are as human beings, our personalities and talents. Men are more likely to identify their orientation because men are responsive. Most men deduce their orientation during puberty because of the fantasies they have. Orientation is less significant to women because of their lack of responsiveness. Many women never have sexual fantasies. A woman may feel different to other women but not understand the reason why. Lesbians often marry and have children before realising years later that they are gay.

Far from being a disorder, low libido is just the natural state of affairs for many women. (Bella Ellwood-Clayton 2013)

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